Psalm 30:11-12The Message (MSG)
11-12 You did it: you changed wild lament
into whirling dance;
You ripped off my black mourning band
and decked me with wildflowers.
I’m about to burst with song;
I can’t keep quiet about you.
GOD, my God,
I can’t thank you enough.
August 29, 2011 marked a day of strong emotions for me. It was a day when I went to the doctor expecting to hear the heartbeat of an unexpected blessing. However, that is not what happened. I was told the baby was not progressing and that I should just go home and wait to miscarry the baby. I was filled with a well of emotions. Mostly sorrow because even though this wasn’t our plan I was already in love with the gift growing inside of me. Exactly 7 days later I miscarried the baby. On that day I was also filled with guilt. Guilt, because deep down I really didn’t want to be pregnant. It wasn’t the best timing to be pregnant. Our starter home had not sold and I had 4 year old and a 16 month old baby. When I found out I was going to lose the baby I was filled with guilt. Amongst the sorrow and guilt I also experienced joy. Joy in knowing that the longing of my heart to adopt was real. I knew in that moment that adoption was the plan God had for us. I didn’t know at the time why God chose to use a miscarriage to confirm that within my spirit but I knew that it was definitely his clear plan for us.
August 29, 2011 a day of JOY! The day our sweet princess was born! It would be 2 and half years later until we would have the privilege of meeting her and welcoming her into our home. On the day of my sorrow God had already provided for our family. He had already blessed us and we didn’t even know it. I am so in AWE of how God works. It is times like this that make my love for Him and desire to follow His ways grow even deeper. He provides for us in ways that prove how much he loves us. As if dying on the cross wasn’t enough, day in and day out He shows His love for us in so many ways. Thank you Father for your sweet blessings and Happy Birthday to our Sweet Princess!